Should You Avoid Divorce and Stay Together for the Kids?

 Posted on December 06, 2019 in Divorce

One of the hardest decisions you may have to make in your life is deciding whether or not you should stay in a married relationship that is no longer working for the sake of your children. This type of decision does not come easily and should not be taken lightly. It can take months or even years to finally feel comfortable enough to act on your decision once you have made it.

Many people believe that a divorce is the worst thing that could happen to a family that has children. While a divorce does indeed have negative effects on children, those effects are usually short-term and can be mitigated if a divorce is smooth and minimally stressful. Studies have shown that staying with your spouse when you do not love each other anymore can actually be more detrimental to children than divorce. Here are a few ways in which staying together for the kids can cause more harm than good:

1. An Unhappy Home Can Lead to Low Self-Esteem

Studies have shown that children living in an unhappy household tend to have lower levels of self-esteem. This is because children absorb everything that they experience and can feel the unhappiness between parents. Often, this manifests as feelings of rejection and unworthiness in children, which can follow them into their adult life.

2. You Can Damage the Parent-Child Relationship

If you are chronically unhappy, chances are you are going to show it in more than one area of your life. You may not even realize it, but you may be projecting your unhappiness onto your relationship with your child as well. This can be damaging to your parent-child relationship.

3. You Show Your Kids a Model for an Unhealthy Relationship

Children learn from what is shown to them, and they will use models that they have seen in their childhood in their adulthood, even if they do not realize it. Children who come from households that had a lot of marital conflict tend to have similar issues in their own future romantic relationships. Staying in an unhappy marriage teaches your children that it is fine to settle for less than they deserve in a relationship.

Contact a Mokena Divorce Lawyer to Discuss Your Options

There is no universal right or wrong answer as to whether you should stay in your marriage or get a divorce. That question must be answered by you and you alone. At Wakenight & Associates, P.C., we understand how difficult it can be to make that decision, and we are here to help you understand your options. Our skilled Orland Park, IL divorce attorneys can make sure you know the implications that a divorce would have on your situation and the legal issues you will need to address, and we can provide you with dedicated legal representation throughout the divorce process. Call our office today at 815-727-6144 to schedule a free consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-ways-you-can-damage-your-kids-by-staying-in-a-bad-marriage_n_573b4845e4b0646cbeeaf9a9

https://www.livestrong.com/article/1006420-development-children-loveless-marriage/

https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/unhappy-marriage-partnership-staying-together-splitting-up-children-co-parenting.html