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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

9405 Bormet Drive, Suite 7, Mokena, IL 60448

Mokena | 815-727-6144

DuPage County | 630-852-9700   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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Frankfort divorce attorneyNobody gets married with the belief that their relationship will end in divorce. Even so, more than 20 percent of marriages end within the first five years of marriage, and nearly 48 percent of marriages end within 20 years. Any divorce is difficult, and the process of dissolving your marriage can be very emotionally taxing, especially if you have been married for a long time. It is not uncommon for couples to be at odds with each other when they divorce, but it does not have to be that way. Though it may seem unlikely, it is in fact possible to have a peaceful and stress-free divorce. Here are a few ways you can complete the divorce process in a healthy and positive manner:

Make an Effort to Cooperate and Communicate

One of the most important things to remember is that communication and cooperation are two of the most crucial components of a peaceful divorce. When you and your spouse are both willing to work together, the stress of the situation is lowered significantly. Even if you are more willing than your spouse to keep the peace and work to reach a positive resolution to your case, you will be in a much better place.

Do Not Obsess About the Effects on Your Children

When parents get a divorce, they often worry about how the divorce will affect their children. While it is true that a divorce will require your children to make changes to their lives, they will probably not be as affected as you might think, and they can even experience positive effects because they will no longer be exposed to arguments or conflicts between parents. Though it is natural for you to be concerned about your children, you should not fret too much. Studies have shown that children of divorce tend to fare better than children whose parents stayed together in a loveless marriage.

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New Lenox divorce attorney emotional issuesGetting a divorce is one of the most stressful life events you can experience, second only to the death of a loved one. Divorce turns your entire life upside down, from your living situation to your financial situation and everything in between. With such a huge change in life, your emotions can get the best of you, and when that happens, things can start to go downhill. While there is no getting around the pain of a divorce, there are things you can do to manage these difficulties. Here are a few healthy coping strategies that you can practice during and after your Illinois divorce:

Do Not Beat Yourself Up Over Your Emotions

The first thing you should know is that you will probably struggle emotionally. You will probably feel sad beyond belief or as angry as you have ever been in your entire life. You may experience every emotion on the spectrum in the span of a single day. It is important to know that this is all normal. No one person has the same reaction to separation and divorce, and that is okay. Remember that these things you are feeling are temporary and that you will eventually feel like yourself again.

Focus on Your Physical Health

A great way to cope with your divorce is by focusing on what you can control. You cannot control how your spouse will react to the legal steps you take during the divorce process, and you cannot control how your children will respond to the news that your marriage is ending. What you can control is yourself, and you should place emphasis on that. Make sure you get enough sleep, drink plenty of water, and exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself physically can work wonders for your mental state as well.

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Orland Park divorce attorney lawyer for real estate ownershipWhen you decide to get a divorce, there are a slew of things that must be decided. You will have to figure out where you will be living and how you will be able to afford to live on your salary alone. If you have kids, you will need to figure out how you will split parenting time with your spouse and where your children will live. One of the biggest decisions you will have to make is how you will divide your marital property. In Illinois, marital property is considered to be anything that was acquired by either you or your spouse after you were married. If your home falls into that category, you also have to figure out how you will handle ownership of your marital home.

Divorce and Real Estate

One of the first things you should do when you are getting a divorce and trying to decide what you are going to do with your home is to get it appraised. This will help you know the value of your home, and it will also help you decide what you want to do with it. There are basically three options when it comes to dealing with your marital home during a divorce: 

  • Sell the home. The easiest and cleanest way to deal with your marital home during a divorce is to sell the home and split the profits. This ensures that both spouses are treated equally during the division process, and both spouses will likely end up with a little bit of cash (as long as you have equity in the home.) However, selling the home may subject you to capital gains taxes that may be owed on the home if it has appreciated significantly.

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Will County divorce lawyerOne of the hardest decisions you may have to make in your life is deciding whether or not you should stay in a married relationship that is no longer working for the sake of your children. This type of decision does not come easily and should not be taken lightly. It can take months or even years to finally feel comfortable enough to act on your decision once you have made it.

Many people believe that a divorce is the worst thing that could happen to a family that has children. While a divorce does indeed have negative effects on children, those effects are usually short-term and can be mitigated if a divorce is smooth and minimally stressful. Studies have shown that staying with your spouse when you do not love each other anymore can actually be more detrimental to children than divorce. Here are a few ways in which staying together for the kids can cause more harm than good:

1. An Unhappy Home Can Lead to Low Self-Esteem

Studies have shown that children living in an unhappy household tend to have lower levels of self-esteem. This is because children absorb everything that they experience and can feel the unhappiness between parents. Often, this manifests as feelings of rejection and unworthiness in children, which can follow them into their adult life.

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Mokena high conflict divorce attorneyEven if you and your ex are on the best of terms, your divorce will still probably involve at least a little bit of conflict or disagreement. For couples who did not end their marriage on great terms, the stress and complexity of the divorce can increase significantly, which can affect the entire family, including your children. In high conflict divorces, one spouse will typically want to end the marriage in an equitable and calm manner, while the other spouse may not only refuse to cooperate, but they may also make it their priority to wreak havoc through the entire process. It may seem like there is nothing you can do in situations like these, but there are some steps you can take to diffuse the situation. Here are a few tips that can be helpful when dealing with a toxic ex during your divorce:

Keep Records of Everything

Divorcing a spouse who has decided that his or her goal is to make your life difficult can be frustrating. Often, a spouse will do everything they can to get their way, including taking your words and twisting them around or even flat out lying about certain things. The best way to deal with this kind of behavior is to keep records of everything that you do throughout the divorce. Keep logs of all of your finances and even your communication with your spouse. Try not to do any talking unless it is through text or email, so you have a hard copy of what was said.

Try to Separate Your Emotions From Your Divorce as Much as You Can

A combative ex will often try to make your life even more difficult by attempting to manipulate your emotions and attacking you where they know you are weak. Though a divorce is an extremely personal event, it is important to try as hard as you can to take your emotions out of the mix. Remember that your ex is doing many of these things just to hurt you, but you can rise above their tactics and work to address issues as calmly and practically as possible.

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  • DuPage County Bar Association
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  • Kane County Bar Association

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