Getting a divorce is one of the most stressful life events you can experience, second only to the death of a loved one. Divorce turns your entire life upside down, from your living situation to your financial situation and everything in between. With such a huge change in life, your emotions can get the best of you, and when that happens, things can start to go downhill. While there is no getting around the pain of a divorce, there are things you can do to manage these difficulties. Here are a few healthy coping strategies that you can practice during and after your Illinois divorce:

Do Not Beat Yourself Up Over Your Emotions

The first thing you should know is that you will probably struggle emotionally. You will probably feel sad beyond belief or as angry as you have ever been in your entire life. You may experience every emotion on the spectrum in the span of a single day. It is important to know that this is all normal. No one person has the same reaction to separation and divorce, and that is okay. Remember that these things you are feeling are temporary and that you will eventually feel like yourself again.

Focus on Your Physical Health

A great way to cope with your divorce is by focusing on what you can control. You cannot control how your spouse will react to the legal steps you take during the divorce process, and you cannot control how your children will respond to the news that your marriage is ending. What you can control is yourself, and you should place emphasis on that. Make sure you get enough sleep, drink plenty of water, and exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself physically can work wonders for your mental state as well.

It should come as no surprise that a divorce comes with a lot of emotional baggage and worries. During your divorce, your living situation may change, prompting a transitional period as you readapt to your new arrangements and your new, single-income household. You may worry about your children and how they will react to the divorce. In addition to these concerns, you may also need to address your credit score and financial health. Though the act of getting a divorce does not inherently affect your credit score, the way you handle your finances during the divorce can. Here are a few ways in which a divorce can impact your credit score in a less-than-favorable way:

You Did Not Account for the Loss of One Income

One of the most drastic financial changes you will experience during a divorce is the loss of an entire income to your household’s funds. Many people underestimate the impact this can have on their financial health, especially when they have been used to running a household on two incomes for a long time. Budgeting is key when making sure you have enough money to pay for all of your monthly expenses.

There are many stressors that come with a divorce. During this time, you are probably feeling a plethora of emotions, ranging from anger to relief to sadness. You may also be feeling worried or anxious about what life after divorce will be like. Will you have enough money? Will you be able to support yourself? Will you still be able to give your children the life they deserve? The emotional and financial stresses of divorce often combine into what feels like a huge avalanche. Some of the concerns you may have about life after your divorce may be able to be addressed with spousal maintenance.

Will I Receive Spousal Maintenance?

If your ex-spouse earns a significantly larger income than you, they may be obligated to pay spousal maintenance (also known as alimony) that will allow you to maintain the standard of living you had during your marriage. Not every divorce case will involve spousal maintenance, and determining whether alimony will be appropriate depends on the circumstances of the individual case. When a judge is determining whether or not to award spousal maintenance, he or she will look at a variety of factors, including but not limited to:

Unless you have gone through the divorce process before, you probably do not know what truly happens when a person decides to legally end their marriage. Most people’s understanding of divorce is taken from movies and television shows or pieced together from things they have heard from friends and family who have gone through the process. This can result in some less-than-accurate understandings about divorce and how the process works. However, it is important to have a realistic idea of what to expect if you are thinking of getting a divorce. Here are a few common divorce myths and misconceptions and the truths behind them:

1. You Have to Have a Specific Reason to File for Divorce

Since 2016, Illinois has been a purely “no-fault state” when it came to divorce. Before that, Illinois law provided 10 possible grounds for divorce, and a person would state one or more of these as reasons their marriage should be dissolved. The old grounds for divorce included things such as mental cruelty, adultery, habitual drunkenness, and abandonment. Now, the only grounds recognized are irreconcilable differences, which simply means that a marriage has broken down beyond repair.

2. Spouses Can Be Punished if They Committed Adultery

While adultery used to be one of the grounds for divorce, infidelity in a marriage will typically not play a role in most divorce cases. In fact, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act specifically states that the decisions made during the divorce about issues such as the division of marital property should be made “without regard to marital misconduct.” This means that an ex-spouse cannot be financially penalized or lose parental rights simply because they had an extramarital affair.