Unless you have gone through the divorce process before, you probably do not know what truly happens when a person decides to legally end their marriage. Most people’s understanding of divorce is taken from movies and television shows or pieced together from things they have heard from friends and family who have gone through the process. This can result in some less-than-accurate understandings about divorce and how the process works. However, it is important to have a realistic idea of what to expect if you are thinking of getting a divorce. Here are a few common divorce myths and misconceptions and the truths behind them:

1. You Have to Have a Specific Reason to File for Divorce

Since 2016, Illinois has been a purely “no-fault state” when it came to divorce. Before that, Illinois law provided 10 possible grounds for divorce, and a person would state one or more of these as reasons their marriage should be dissolved. The old grounds for divorce included things such as mental cruelty, adultery, habitual drunkenness, and abandonment. Now, the only grounds recognized are irreconcilable differences, which simply means that a marriage has broken down beyond repair.

2. Spouses Can Be Punished if They Committed Adultery

While adultery used to be one of the grounds for divorce, infidelity in a marriage will typically not play a role in most divorce cases. In fact, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act specifically states that the decisions made during the divorce about issues such as the division of marital property should be made “without regard to marital misconduct.” This means that an ex-spouse cannot be financially penalized or lose parental rights simply because they had an extramarital affair.

Some of the most difficult concerns you will face during your divorce are the issues that are related to your children. Many parents worry about the well-being of their child when they get a divorce, both emotionally and financially. The state of Illinois believes that both of a child’s parents have an obligation to financially provide for that child, so almost all divorce cases involving children also involve child support. The amount of child support payments will depend on a variety of circumstances, including each parent’s income, the number of children that support is being paid for, and how parenting time is allocated between the parents. Once a support order is established, that order will remain in effect until the child reaches adulthood -- unless a parent requests that the order be changed.

Modifying Child Support

Every three years, an Illinois child support order is eligible for a modification review. If the order has not yet passed the three-year mark, or if the need for a change is urgent, then a parent may be able to still have the child support order modified. In these cases, a “significant change in circumstances” must be proven before modifications can be made to the child support order. 

What Is a “Significant Change in Circumstances?”

By far, the most common way a child support order is changed in Illinois occurs when one of the parents claims that new circumstances warrant a modification. Illinois courts are given broad discretion when it comes to determining what does and does not qualify as a significant change in circumstances.” Here are some examples of changes that may require a modification: 

For many people, adoption is a very rewarding and fulfilling way to expand their family. If you are considering adoption, there are certain processes that you must go through and qualifications that you must meet before you are permitted to adopt a child. In the state of Illinois, a home study is an important piece of the adoption puzzle. No matter which way you choose to adopt -- whether through a private agency or individual or through the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services -- you will have to complete a home study as a part of the requirements to adopt.

Why Are Home Studies Used?

Many people believe that a home study is simply a home visit to talk to you and the other family members in your home. While this included in an adoption home study, it is just a small piece of the bigger process. Home studies are intended to allow social workers to evaluate families and determine whether they have not only the financial resources to adopt a child, but also the emotional ability to accept a child into their family.

Background Checks

Background checks are a requirement for all adults over the age of 18 who reside in the household where the child will be living. The background check must be passed by all members in order for the family to be eligible to adopt. Children who are between the ages of 13 and 17 must consent to a search in the child abuse and neglect registry and the child sex offender registry.

Some things we just know to be true, like the fact that the sky is blue or the grass is green. Another universal truth is that divorce is going to be stressful, no matter which way you look at it. In fact, some have said that divorce is the most stressful life event a person can go through, right after the death of a loved one. While we all understand that this situation is going to be difficult, it does not have to be excruciatingly so. There are things you can do to make the divorce easier on you and give you a little bit of peace during this hectic time. If you are feeling stressed out about your divorce, try following these simple tips:

1. Do Not Fight Your Feelings

One of the most important things you should remember is that everything you are feeling is normal. You may be feeling sad, depressed, angry, bitter, or even hostile, but it is important that you allow yourself to feel these things. Emotionally healing after a divorce is a process, and going through your emotions is part of that process.

2. Take Care of Yourself

Though you may not feel like it, making sure you are taking care of yourself physically is just as important as taking care of yourself mentally. You should make sure you are eating healthy foods, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough sleep. When you feel good physically, this also helps you feel good mentally.

Every parent only wants what is best for their child. For parents, divorce can be incredibly complicated and stressful, since not only do the decisions made affect one’s own future, but they will affect children’s futures too. Divorce does not always come at the best time, and parents with teenage children may worry about the upcoming costs of their child’s higher education. Normally, child support payments only last until the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever comes later. A parent may worry about covering the costs of a child’s college education, and it is important to understand how Illinois law addresses these expenses.

Parental Contributions Toward College Expenses

Illinois courts understand how expensive college can be, and they recognize the importance of a college education for children’s success. Illinois law provides guidelines for how parents may be required to contribute toward children’s college expenses, which expenses are covered, and how they will be paid. Educational expenses must be incurred before the child turns 23, or, if good cause is shown, no later than the child’s 25th birthday. Contributions to educational expenses can be awarded out of the property and income of both parents and can be made payable directly to the student or to the school. Prior to awarding money toward the child’s education, the court may require the family to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA).

What Expenses Are Covered?

If the court decides that the parents are able to provide for some or all of the costs associated with the child’s education, the expenses will be allocated between the parents. Expenses that parents may be responsible for covering include: